So this weekend is staff training at the camp I was a CIT at last summer. All winter i struggled with whether or not i would apply, and then made the decision not too because i wouldn’t make enough money for university. And now i’m beginning to regret that decision.
I love camp. Saying I love camp, doesn’t even begin to describe how much I love camp. 8 months later and its still all i talk about. I miss the people, i miss the food, i miss the activities, i miss the place, i miss the atmosphere, i miss everything ! It was a place where i could be myself, where i truly didn’t care what i looked like because i knew that it didn’t matter because no one was judging me. People honestly judged others based on who they were as a person, not what brand they are wearing or wether or not they have acne. I know that it sounds like some made up world, but its true. Camp was the most amazing experiance of my life. It was litereally a life changing experiance.
I went into camp close minded, nervous, shy, with minimal self esteem and confidence. I left camp open minded, excited, outgoing with the most self esteem and confidence i’ve ever had in my life. I made relationships that i know i will have for years, i had experiances i will remember for the rest of my life. And now that i know i’m not going back, i’m actually a little depressed about it. Thinking about camp makes my chest hurt, sometimes when i think about camp my eyes well up a bit, it literally hurts to think about how much i miss camp.
I like to make the best of what i have, in situations i know that things will eitherwork out or they won’t. It sucks if they don’t work out, but frankly its not the end of the world. I like to have fun, i like to do stuff for me, i like the idea of living a life where im more conserned about my happiness then my money. Which isn’t completely realistic in the world we live in, but its a nice philosophy i think. :) However the decision to not work at camp goes against the philosophy. Camp makes me happy. And now that i’m not working there, i’m not happy. So what compelled me to make that decision? I honestly couldn’t tell you. But i’ve learned a lesson from it; do what makes you happy. Recognize the implications of not doing it and the implications of doing it and remember that happiness is the most important thing in the world
Well said Jessie. It sounds like you are really onto something here. It reminds me of a book I read a few years ago called "Awaken the Giant". It was a personal growth book that made me realize: YOU can achieve anything YOU want once you let go of silly insecurities.
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